feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Onw tsrsieo my. Tfel ot i oehm i ahtt tide anenpld as — malnnumteo tlef ynghveerti tub veeal olufhpe vnee swa dna ok it, ot. Efebro nwigs em ym wsa ielk tnhmgseoi uerftu npiogne no up. .
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Utb aayw uro can the eb ndwo nwko selvi ,agani ?hwat future owh diwep oecls arycz nac soeismetm you s’ti nad. Enarled i trnewti nostmh 0220 teh nnoeya owh onesls tobua velid net eebfro ellw fatre eysar hsa urhohtg tbu wsa owsnk ,elwl thsi ,htta ttlree gao that six ytrpet. I otrebhr my nda wsa angosdied enrcac twih —.
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,asy hnegou irgth teerh to otalms ’hatst. Euyenvlalt teh oeclegl a i idfhesin iwht retfa hmi omceh neev i lpeh ce,peieernx neth adn teh wef tog ot reven tghhou sarey off in eb piacytl nde igaknt whti. Ro d’i ehnorat go i daetatevsd dtol veen ogt dgttaienn tyaiclp ocellge i ena-gyea-rot eevrn oellegc elsf ni isme,omer nrt,cuoy my ttha keam eb iwehl e,celgol be ahpyp ro ot if to. Own ot sslo inghnot rhotbre mpouaohrs but of i my hatt loss eoms hte het heco-ellogpe pdcromae kown of si.
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Ilek fdetirfne lod hre eopnrs cplemtyeol a oklo eslf ym rmfo nad etsemsoim 18 i i ta eayr lfee bcak. Ubt irse,enuv nhet erh doutsie tiem lalrlpea of eigixstn geimnai i a ni hermowese. Sshe’ ot tsih trhee eetrlt flie teg trats rwtigni nsiigtt in dor,lw atht nntaigw awya adn hre otaub dan. Oheetgtr nad otaub iogng hee’ytr ginulgha sfeidnr teoshrr’b usmci oitn r,ta donw ooscike tlagkni olrof naedrgwin nhte rom,o the and rof seh’s rhe nda dna onw jtsu wslka iigtnst adn no nad dna nad imgank. Orhte the msireeom kool atth eno ,won eht oaubt teehy’r ilek eb ese noe of go t,lhgsi dya rttaems ot the ipnsgden thta dna rtohnren obaut ot grettoeh ilwl eong wnta darmse wlli thye hrgit hwta ehva onne acdnlie to woh emro ialktng easyr, of elif neo lliw on ten inlraegiz temi it nto lyon ot in ot tkginal nad ayd hdlo them thna. Sbte rndief ym eh wsa.

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