A letter from Nov 16, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, My friends aren’t the same as last year… I wonder if anything’s changed for you too. I’m currently friends with D, L and PJ mostly… Theres also the twins E & M and Leo. Oh and Lucas and GZ But more so than last year, its pretty much just you and D. L and PJ are basically dating, they just haven’t admitted it yet, so they spend most of their time together. And I feel most of the gang is more friends with them than with us. I dunno. Do you still study at RC? It’s a lot, I know. Rich kids are so stupid (as if i’m poor haha) But it’s true. I’m not seen, and it’s partially my fault. I hope you’ve gotten better. And all that food stuff, huh? Still having some of those rules? Every morning at school I only eat either a nuts mix or a cereal bar, only half a juice box. Else I get sick. My brains just weird. There’s also not eating ice cream, açaí nor milkshake when i’m with my friends… When i’m at the mall then, i can’t eat anything. It’s messy ig I’m not sure i’m entirely normal, but since then i’ve found ways to control my anxiety so… Pretty much specific foods at certain times and/or places make me sick, by association rly. So I just stick to other foods. It’s simple! Plus, at the very least i’m not having at least three anxiety attacks per day at school since i’ve found the foods that I don’t relate to anxiety/sickness.. D said that we both should look for therapy, I agree, in a way. I undermine myself too much, alongside that food thing. I’ve just settled with the fact i’m a little bit pathetic and constantly feel a tad humiliated around the other girls in my class (they’re pretty and tall and good at sports and….) So is the life of a fourteen year old girl 🔥 (Well… fifteen, in your case)

Epilogue

28 days later

I don’t really know how to answer this, actually.

What i can say is that most of those rules aren’t necessary anymore. I’m not sure when it all stopped...

I eaot…vre xuoisan a n’tdo reev it lses leef tbu nto ’tis hpnpesa ra,mngetti ewnh i leki adn lot. .
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E?rew nm cumh renat’ now quiet lsoa fensird oenc as eth you !llwe eewr’ tiwh olyn tpeytr uoy hwta dna d sema shwii?rnsedfepi-.
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Ersexsp tiellt ee’wr yevr elov lfeey lwutro,ady a dna rome utcyoh.
Nerve utthr ni nebe we’ve but i tiadtsn tinkh os.
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I hre oevl yeld,pe.
Smae i teh tllsi ro omre etssat btu sims slse had nehw we. Dan terho askuar rdah paadrotr,cc ah!ha ts’i eno het wneh rb is nperos ba tnwgihca.
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Eyrv of at oryu oodg yuo it batou fele ilantgk you how nwko… bera dna uaseebc kemsa nto seinsetrt uryoe’.
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Hngecda chum raelly siht tnsa’h. Adn r,tgyni timrpanot has'tt sat’wh ’ouyer.
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Btu ekil is of -dedo,nesi beuacse indipsfrhe ahtt elfe ryou tenof oyu.
Atth ouy avseel rited dna ttrfaserud.
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,pj e era ae…yr and nm enxt aivengl.
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Dgntia l beaesuc lecso so uyroe’ twhi jp tno won( !() eh’s aiofc)lfily.
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,smesid mn e be yeeldp tub lwil adn.
Opbablry lilst wl’le uoghth aklt. Cekhc aunnal pcsindertoi my imght emka ighn,t tn…)e?w hwo an tlul,cay(a isth i.
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Hwti nidfers dan htme eroyu’ rl… eyvr ethsre irdetfnef tno much olpeep yeour.
’yehert tub nfisedr iwht …os l.
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Sdpeas bryale iths yar,e i.
It! aedm tub i.
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I grstdelug aery mroe stih oshcol, ta.
Ubt lto a moer unf saw ti.
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Flglain with o,reiinlg ’vie hda hetaonr out.
Uhthog ndeeltyiif nto fvdeiintei ts’i.
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***** yk a si uitlg.
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M’i yph,ap.
Ebaym emor uoy? thna.
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O,lve of stol.
Uy!o.

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