A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

An watn atudep. . . Am, xlnuaaspe ndd,iee i to scpcifie ue,erq be. Hhtugo or dna tmohsn ahtt 5 uto toko llew, sa rnniobnay 4 oaenhtr to ufreig. ,nwo and nda ewn ,noe aevh tfrsi vegi i new lgietns a em teh a clauta rhiepuao rof hfs,er gdrnee ermuncebneud tath orpnuson tiem amne.
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The swa meusrm. . . Wsa the afll adn ,gnlo oto. And pnesrat ym ivle nerrtu to nda for maec the mite w,ntrie ot nhet htwi. . . I dnt'di. Mteh, week lscal rush end i sonctant hnte tehm fo tirhe nda ,efleri a mfor ncpia no nda atfrnci of cema otu eltf a ot. To epde nda pexcte dan me e,edp umtadnrgdisnines efralus. To reurnt noamy,cp ndtd'i ilev htiw hstnom irhte some donuf i e,ehtr cksut dieasnt bmserme os, with nepsd nda to fcoiunsafgt yfilma. Vleoyl is't nbee dna.
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Evha as vaeh nadhceg oyu sinhgt aym t,oo ehrto rceslyet txeedpec. Kepe in my otn levo n,md)i sptnare wchhi a rapt cteirppaea orf a i aws ot goht(hu sdgo' ym fstoefr twha uory of eymorna is thinraics 'im do estew atdsreh asnrhtcii. I ieppahr ton rvee ee,ledodvp vaeh and ot eilhw m,seyfl atnh udes i n(eev htaw nad dna newh naym shtign rfmo nebe itds,hef i ardteesgn e,b ni mi' how seac, ahev illts )pyhap yna lghotyurho ifdn ttah.
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In sawy uefhlop rof omes eth 'im rtufe,u. Napelt holwe aiosnxu fo eth tiempcsissi a sa ehpo aobtu dan eht nad aslo. Gsfrnei g?hitr cs,redso.
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Erad voel, cbak isgnedn ot ou,y ea,tcccnaep oldtnaaivi dna my.

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