A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

0,221 can yuo lrexa.
Eht ruo psrtane ni i taallcyu ebsucae l,oegecl we levi noamey,r iṁrzi on'td devom tatdres yrea to nsuḃtlai. .
Otg to ni uyo teiknk ooso, hes're lııdzy ihtg,n teh. Btu eth ot neaigim hpaenp was oyu in not it insgth enev owldu. . . . In reteh uo'ery inudysgt aunlgseag. ?thaw uyo adn nareeld rncehf wkon uyo.
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To sthi room uory ilems on ni sda rcanef rofm btu whti efac eht gogin go teiwr er'uoy ouy omrd to a ryuo lnduco't mpro.
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Ouy ueyor' as twih ftqreeun nya hte otn fo tnkih as in boeva asnme aottcnc. Slot fo mhet eevn neo yuo. Ttah hitgr egeduss :).
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Weer oyu eddwgni in og imar,red het enrfac locdtu'n aenyr csb oyu ot tgo.
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Elpca ̇llica a si to inu fien, ahs scloe esh. Uegss yda eb eht trehe atht yuo of het tog wuto'ld yuo 'ctuolnd tsbe htem saem niot wot irefnd aceh hitw btu of trhose iun het msoe oyu.
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Keöngç odgo is. A rteedn hse lmağu in hseou. Tutku heret iduests she whit. D'ndti you tmee hmi so,yrr tye ubt. Ecols osme ubt yad.
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Isuetds abrai ni imri̇z. Miiżr got tocatnc refat uoy utb ese ot lc'noutd her aelve oyeu'r ni uyo ingaa.
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One suade uyo see ilwl yad talaulcy. A i owbl igben ndmi yruo tbe hsit llwi catf. Hseet owkn ocgimn see i 'niddt yuo.
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Tuoab nhew ouy dcol okwn nda ̇iabsulnt uoy i weer sadi be hgtim nigktal it. Mane, dttni'd tub i aids nya laed hree atht ecalp yuo eiebevl su plfseiilcayc adn. Rgnfeezi hrtnenor htiw to eozr hraewte eth udner fecnar na. T????fw cdol in ecranf nad eb to os eaeusbc tsi' in cumh rinec.
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Enphpa gltguress. Ppeaendh htey tals in 5 rayes teh. Reokdw ahd oto peeolp dra,h hiwt yman uyo swardbonke defltri amny btu amyn. Tenw paesirt oyu ot reicd tlso etehir of oyu ubt nad tlos. Bed fo oyu tog losa tub om,sieetms vdome out oryu of you neo asd utyrcno erifsnd ahontre ndlt'cou mead so tesb ot yuo wtih loepep. Ouy tye wkon htwa eenv nokw ianag? t'ndo uoy nad reh. In in ?hgtir evne daersm, is isth your tno.
It enev a obuat yuo tn'od isutrto ntheaor ggnio ondt' uecsabe to kithn tconryu as ouy whrto onwk i. .
Eht nigth s,i you rowth ti. Reom eovl ouy kt,ihn t'dno neve urofseyl olyul' htan rryow. .
Vebeleid ouy -8lr-e-sydfolae ouy kiel onaisdpsit 'nddtti oyur. .
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Etdri ,lipulybc u,shis yvre tehda eusgs oyu ouy i ti. Uhsis scbaeeu ot tewn that ouy aner teh amndols'cd hosp rafte eht. .
,oyu i sa wons eosm i ganle aetfr no a 'ill acn rlae for onos kmea upt leohstc as hkitc. I lels >:( sola ,gelcnoo em csien onrlaiutlvy tiwh ecasbue bogutrh itlls it rhee ereh acn smlle on'dt i it etyh teh.
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Nad 91 tlslya, asw ogod. Diresfn ouy 8 daem at 91 new. Oto eno ledhpe yuo lsee no ddi ehty ekil. 32 eyr'uo wno, seolc 22 is. Adn wne lulcsese feil ryt ifdsnr,e itlsl royue' ro'yeu oatbu ot yofuslre oveipmr kigmna ltils. Ese eth l'oyul ubt t,lef toms ahstt' mchu erve yrev v'euoy gthni bplalisue.

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