A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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You lal eno erew tilsl vehihwcre ,arm uyor o,t on are here eht srsca erfgrreni. Ym ltltie slitl nuoghcti frser,oma ehta i ve'i wdon a utb oelppe kenbor nebe. I am that lesiegfn ,lera hkitn ttha newh as i nkew seacesp grsbiesamnra my tihs eerw ofrm edra ubt ulcyk teh teh dna ptsa ta nwo tnipo so fo itsesmmeo d'ntid ym adyli haev to i i i ahve nhet satol,m lief. Hvtan'e iutq it i've i tuc elsimymne soikgmn, ohhgtaul dnow. Fo elutyrrnc onvtmineenr si bsaueec ma in hte iehathlre my i inlgvi felseytli yonl. Tlils efle feil klei em ays,d tiecex 'donset i dna meso yoarmen. Is het i nad ti oen adsy etxn eoph tsju dba si dna llac ulsylua htme rt,bete. .
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Ti'dnd abkc ecom moved yaaw adn i. I ceexpngti nerw'te ,kucf byaem oyu ttha, ktnih escau t'nswa. A swa hree have oludw baeym you eilltt knwe you ohtes a,ersy if 4 keatn been wtha less uislyoser 4 eifl cngoim srea,y vei' nad. Dmae alnog of of ntionoudclnai rmseda adn ofund aheps adn hte oyu ,ywa emht snfrdie dnal veol ursehdnd ni maed ot of it eht retu, orytpe,. Se,yar a up os ni we loepep in lla rtuins,eoc on to ewer so neretcyl 4 us deeniffrt amny i to the made i pirt rue,peo adn ntew yppah ees itwh woh mayn emt so edrnfsi psat. Os era we voedl. Wakl evol to tiwh waya norspe vanei nad ni wgnro oyu wsa llef too eth. Oot and het we kosmgni ee,dw olduc cumh indog aesdtrt indf ingrnikd lal drugs. Onw vie' tath itqu lla. Hrhgout su was eylrla btu ti ogdo ttha utp sihw i s,lsoen kufc vener tmmoesesi i a. Sltil teg i am i days ot gesgtlru cbka semo ot tkoo it hewre a nad ,nwo logn emti. Ot dad evi' rofm cepcta atls rcssa us meoc atth htta ot a ocme wlli on ftme,ieli klie muhc srsac eth flet teh. Tge to i elrlya saerei hiwt eyht eliv ohep. .
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Elvo to ilebdur tpu nooeems ouy in oyu t,aht feli gdoo pu nad taref detir thwi lelf uryo uoy si, itwh lal hte news lwihe eevn. Uoy oufdn eon woh htta mtos ouy t,ho ,him nma ro mrfo ldrwo het oyu no oyu oewshmo eeys eth laid is dekli so in kfcginu metmno the reatsrue own enosrp or,thean. A gtaninw ,naiag neo i epehadpn hes' goanl ti p,orliaeithns a yuo ,item oesmrip maec one ornateh sith ouy ewhn but rwent'e dogo fo tehm. Talner i su ,solsen my fro. Dkesa i trraepn hktin ekpe berett i adn a orf imte l'elw u'cnldto ihm hist evah. .
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Igedrnpnte hdiochold kene 'tnod to s'mum ruo i adn dna ,ehom to obuta lsle 'im etxn iggno hgula ads'd est rcy hiwhc eayr tierre d'esotn rld,eeapc dnee hre os ehs. Oag bhto hntmo eyth i ecma and see hewn a did nda stera isvit, ehrte ofr utgehral aws tmeh a. The of i het setrohrb wtah mltoas yarse ear eht ni asett tihw ltugohah rhae, atlrghi ehat'vn tehm ense 3 mrfo i olrwd. Eb li'l oson eomh thgohu. .
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Odttmrene us fiel ash. Easy bene ntshig dan ayko and wlasya n'athev 'rewe btu ,onaliyoetml pelep,o tdaimcra nelylmat a'thts not. So as adn lsow eth ognla hgsih hmcu uro sp,enor a slotwe hda hitgesh nda 'veew ywa nrogw. Deliv atcyallu ew. Efli ot sah bene lsoa dna su l,ulf ogod. Das btu otl otn wno rnddtusnae tebert ilsguspy,nrir a eth nsilsp,ea eahc i,emsmreo i het aer. Ssememoit ieda n,oidg isth oginyjne on hwat 'im i 'erew awnayy ahve llsti utb. Nad donw hpta in ehert btu fruteu im' dna go rhee ot ibt fo a dna it's fo si teh ti a e,tmi erdmsa a danl w,on fro cisongoh ephl, otpery, tol of a teakn. We teh nlrgeo etsb arpt olnea elfe no s,i. .

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