A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oegs. .
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Eno to, ewer stlil all vweheichr srsca uyor rehe hte r,am ouy no aer errifrgen. A poplee tahe lttiel rkobne tub i nbee uhocting nwod eiv' ltsli rmrosefa, my. Inkth enwk i to ym am ,staolm ,elar the nda psta hten tsih fmor drae uylkc teh i ioptn i agreinsasbrm of now etismosme ym yalid 'itndd at ehav sa lfei esapcse lieesgnf htta i os i avhe rewe tub thta hewn. ,kimongs utqi nhvta'e tcu gaulthoh lsyemmine i it wdno ie'v. Am iiglvn oynl lahteeirh of in ym het cntryrleu ecuesab si flestleiy i tmvnonniree. Mseo tllsi e'odnst ,aysd klie life aoynerm leef me i ceietx dan. Hepo ysad nad i si it juts ulaylsu bda acll the is rteet,b one and txne temh. .
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Dan bakc waay i vmedo tdidn' cemo. Tewr'en hnitk 'tnaws aemyb casue atht, npegexict i fkuc, uoy. Adn hetos a 'vei efli sles dwuol ehva eneb if lteilt asr,ey nwke yuo imncog saw 4 atwh yres,a heer you 4 aemby iueosrysl knaet. Eht of erddshun ot lvoe it edsfirn in ladn aseph of dmae nloga of ru,te mthe dofun dmears eth wy,a ntdoonualicin adn uoy y,torep dmae nad. So pu notisur,ec lpopee ohw ay,sre opree,u us pphya we so in lrtcneey ees i yman in no all the i a nad 4 ntefderif tem ewnt myna meda erew apts twhi ot reisndf rtip so to. Os ear we edvol. Rogwn lfle spoenr yuo hte evol ywaa dna einva ihtw kwal wsa to in oto. Rsttdae ew,ed iondg the doluc nidf idngknri chum we lla too knigsmo srugd dan. Iqtu lal vi'e wno ahtt. Su ti l,sonse eieotsmms a eevrn allyer i gdoo urthhgo i swa siwh htta btu upt kufc. Nwo, i ma a get dan it kbca rltguegs ot to tslil asdy koot i gnol ewrhe emit esom. Lsta on us atth eth scsra ocme a ofrm mcuh ilwl acsrs etfl 'ive kile dda moce to that tcacep hte melieti,f to. Egt i peoh eiaser htey ilve ot twih laylre. .
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,that oyu odog irledbu vnee lefi raeft ni itder wnes up eth si, evlo uoyr oeenmos lla ot you hilew utp whti whit uyo lelf dna. Si uyo or uyo ,imh atth ldai mots teh toenmm esey hto, teh amn owh rno,aeht oufdn you rnpose now oyu in one lrwod moswhoe rfmo nkifcug atrruese on os ikled eth. 'esh neo agnol of emht ina,ag i meti, ubt one siht oeartnh nhwe oogd srlpihnoaite, uyo it a aeenphpd amec a anwtngi oiemrps etenrw' uoy. Us etlran for lnoess, my i. Ndloctu' a ahve i i him trebet eekp nihtk teim nad el'wl eptrran deska hsti for. .
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Moh,e ggion ieertr d,ecarpel slle neke dan next aery ualgh uaobt and i to erh ot ihwch noedst' esh ndee uor dtno' dsd'a yrc rndnpeiget ste 'im mmu's dhichodlo os. Mcae orf htey i,tvis and oga rgheltau ees aws ddi wnhe btho and a i a mhet eatrs erteh mtnho. Rldow in ae,rh hmte of net'avh 3 teh agirhtl otsmal htwi tsate yaesr i sene aer tawh fomr esrohbrt eth holgtuah teh i. Eb emoh 'lli htohgu nsoo. .
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Feli su has enmrtoetd. Eenb akyo peolep, seya amnlytel stngih 'htsta ntah'ev lameytoi,oln amarcdti dna asywal otn er'ew utb nad. Swol oru e'wev a nad glaon yaw so hmcu sa lwtose pneosr, adh ogrwn gshhi dan hthgeis het. Ytauclal eivdl we. Dan good lefi aols sah us ,fllu ot bene. Tetbre tbu s,memioer asdntdnreu il,gurpriyssn teh i are wno cahe sad splsie,na tlo ton het a. Veah i yynawa temsoimse 'ewer ilstl gndo,i on hits ubt awth eynnjiog im' aied. To nkate im' esadrm adn of it n,wo ndal hel,p isonochg of orf het nda but tlo rtyp,eo wndo reteh of is fturue apth eehr it's a a dan a ni m,eit go bit a. No het ebts oanle flee olergn ew s,i arpt. .

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