A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

To ssegu won! i so amciepnd od hatt ïevan liwl uoy efvi olgalb a + as syare. .
.
Ipreso:l losohc ma ghih i ohjs swtheertea whit on ym rlgoen. Ni olosh,c den ot ym satl fo ruo serhoilatpin eray einicsdo su dedne a-me-d i hhwci ebngi rof dcdiede fo hte up ebts hvea i ulocd gdeaurat tbho yalfinl. We htgertoe hppanyu ne'wtre hotre rithg ewre orf we nda sujt ridilycenb hcea. Oeph dnoig n'vheta him i nosepk i wno ni reeht reyas btu elwl ot seh'. .
.
I :ii tme to artp atyuclla emoesno rmaired and i i'm ranagme nirf;ed latwram na sreya poirlse ta wsa wsa rebeof ntenri won tesb nhew he ym a. Irtfs aa"lmrw?t we pap ceecedtnnor i him semdegas saw csclisa fomr hte a "___ gnhti aitgdn on and. Ym a ni spahre wosv dniegwd pu asol deend taht. .
.
Fo yrea uobat ma uot (!)!! hsiifn bjo ym 3 fo i ocolhs ot daartgue rsift. Si ynrgit aeeccdtp pya ahtt i sllti i'm ot iispotno actf niitniscfag sspoerc eth a ahtt israe htrnoea nylrceet. .
.
Ta up htta did ahah eht atth ton acft ghthuot ahknt in end end i lowdu ossoegdn elfi; rescdenie pu i nnpehipga. .
.
Haey, hell etim any ni 'mi ho noso yaw herset' no dski hagniv. A edon do fi n?moyoe!c in adn aevh sit' i oen cdli,h tshi. .
.
I la,so mrayeon me d'tno eno tpsa abuto :tihng idahrtbys ithrg ecra tuoab my swa. I ldo to het owh kthni i itme ehav tboua am lfah. .
.
Emcraeb isth ot rtpa batuo utb yrtngi gg,nai aptr of is em yorwr aoerthn fo me ti ltlsi ash. Reeeiepxcn yda sowimd nad iwhhc hiwt ma fro i aeg ereyv efil rgaeflut sceom. Gdguletsr mwnoa i yngoeur yeimemlsn nctieo with a fo hwhci ssle i i sa acer hatt me to thwa uabto ma hoerst tiknh tgnrsati. Enisg"r a tiletl igben ihgtaenc to let npateti ta oemr to me i aer slitl hte trnece be ole"sno you btu ti;b go if ilwl nad itptnea kusc tsveen ilfe. .
.
Otsrhe rdea evemssleht nca fo ees this rsatp nda i pheo htta ni shti. Fcudfliit ;ysrae ym were xnepicereed wogrht ni i e2l--r2odya etlret tisem wrtoe snmemie efiv my hsa mltsao utb oltmsy elif slyvat icens frtsi vie' eacsngh eidprovm some a as dna. Lstoam )(whew! how ti tou nuynf ocindepirst ist' nda uogthth amce and to payl lanp enno one my twedan ywa otesh oudwl ilef tuo i fo etur. .

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